The Labor of Waiting

Photo taken over the Cascade mountains, northern Oregon, August 2009

I absolutely love my work as a labor support doula. I get so excited, so charged with energy when I talk about birth, my own birth experiences, and helping other moms to educate themselves. Developing a relationship with a client and seeing her through to the grand finale of her baby's birth is a sublime experience. Tears actually come to my eyes when I think about that moment of birth. So with each client, when we get down to those weeks when labor could start at any moment, those days have a special energy for me. It is the energy of waiting and of expectation.

I am fully in that place right now, today was the due date of my current client.
Each time my phone rings there is a jolt, is it her?
Each night I sleep with the phone tucked next to me, fully expecting to be awakened.

I am reminded of so many things at this time...
I am reminded of my own times of waiting when my whole body was so full with child that I ached to go into labor and days passed without that relief.
I am reminded that we are all always waiting for something, and I am awakened to how that effects our present. "What am I waiting for?", is a really good question.
I am reminded to breathe, to check in with my body more often and to consciously let the tension of waiting go.
Most of all I am reminded that even in our waiting we are laboring, constantly preparing for what is to come, for what lies barely glimpsed on the horizon.

And so I am ready. Ready at any moment to drop everything and to suddenly play my part as the drama of labor and birth unfold, and the divine enters the room.

Sunday Reflection: Butterflies

Breath

~There are more than 20,000 different species of butterflies in the world.
~Butterflies taste with their feet.
~Butterflies smell with their antennae.
~Some butterflies can fly as fast as 12 miles per hour.
~Most butterflies feed primarily on nectar from flowers.
~Butterflies hide when it rains.
~An average adult butterfly lives about 2-4 weeks

Ponies!

Part of our time in Oregon was spent staying on a ranch in the central part of the state. The ranch was right out of a "wild west" story book, with picture perfect views in every direction (horse posing included). Carys is two, and I thought she was too young to get excited about horses...not so! She could not get enough of them and called them all ponies!

Every time she saw them she would shout, "Ponieeeeeeeees!".

While she was too young to go riding, we went to the stables to watch the horses come in from the fields for breakfast, water and social time.

It had been a while since I had been so close to horses, the earthy smell took me right back to being 12 years old at horse back riding camp. What amazing animals they are, just being near them made me feel more in the moment, more awake, and more connected to the earth beneath my feet.

And now we are fully into another little girl obsession....Ponytails! Seriously, she wants to wear them everyday. Loving that!

Reentry

We were just here.

The beauty of the Oregon coast was lush and huge and wondrous, with so much to seek out and take in.
Looking at the pictures it looks like another planet really, definitely not on the same planet as NYC. Reentry has been hard after this trip, returning from such magnificence...I feel like I'll be in my rabbit hole for a few days before I can figure out my real life again.
Somehow, everything is always clearer to me when I travel, my senses are heightened and I see everything with more clarity. I am less self conscious and I see my self as I want to be. I understand where my weak places are and I see with more clearly how to make them stronger. I see my loved ones more clearly, I see who they are, who they are becoming and I see more clearly how I can help or hinder that process. I am a dreamer, and when I travel, in glorious surroundings, I feel like I am in a waking dream in which I am free to visualize, playfully throw ideas around and access endless possibilities.
I am trying to store up that clarity while it is still fresh right now!

The kids spent hours climbing on rocks, looking under rocks, playing with seaweed, running from the waves.

Frank usually paints outside with watercolor where ever we travel. Since rocks and the sea are really "his thing", you can imagine how this landscape got him going! He would just set up on a rock and go to it. The kids love to watch.

Here is one of the almost finished paintings.

And finally, I love how our hair is almost indistinguishable in this one. (notice the eye patch...Jasper was a pirate for most of our trip)

Flying again

My grandfather was an airline pilot for 50 years. First he flew planes in the south Pacific in WWII and then he flew commercial airline flights for Eastern Airlines (remember them?). I have always thought that the urge to travel was in his Norwegian blood, and it is definitely in mine!
This summer we have been so lucky to have many trips planned, tomorrow we leave on our last week away before the fall. We are flying to Oregon in the morning, we'll be traveling around the state a bit, and I'm really looking forward to checking out Portland.
I always feel a little bit giddy, like a kid again, the night before I travel. Tonight is no exception.
Today was hard, I was home the entire day until 5pm waiting for a UPS delivery of some prints of paintings that I had to mail to a client before my trip tomorrow. After waiting all day at home, with the kids, I finally received the prints and they were BENT! Seriously, they are bent down the middle and completely unusable.
In the morning I had read this amazing email newsletter by the fabulous SARK where she was talking about being a "Detective of Goodness"....she stops people in the midst of their day and asks, "Would you like a perspective of Goodness?", this is her way of reminding people that they have the opportunity to have such a different experience right in the midst of the annoyances that they face. We always have the opportunity to experience things differently and I loved reading her reminder, boy did I need that today. All day I was seriously repeating that as a MANTRA.
I will miss all of you, and I look forward to returning with photos and stories of my trip. See you next week.
xoxo

::The photograph above is of 4 matted photos that hang in our upstairs hallway, all of them taken by me out of the window of an airplane on various flights at various times, when I fly I can't get enough of the sky::

Wonder Wheel

A pulsing sea of humanity at Coney Island on the hottest weekend so far this year, as seen from atop the Wonder Wheel.

Do you know the Dan Zanes song about the Wonder Wheel? It is one of our family favorites!

Happy weekend to you!

My "New" Necklace

As a visual person I am constantly being inspired by things that I see. The other day at the playground I saw a stylish looking mom wearing a lovely tangle of necklaces with lots of little charms scattered along the chains. I couldn't get it out of my mind, and definitely wanted one for myself.
Later, during the quiet of the evening (after the kids were asleep) I was feeling energized by the idea of making my own charm necklace. I keep this old tackle box full of jewelry making supplies, as this has been a creative outlet that I love to experiment with....and I have even sold a line of earrings in the past.

First I grabbed three gold chains from another necklace that I didn't wear too much, and then I collected my charms, which wasn't too hard for me as I save anything with sentimental value. I choose:
-a gold feather charm that was on a necklace that Frank gave me one year for my birthday.
-a small faceted chunk of Labradorite, one of my favorite semi-precious stones. I love the way that it changes color in the light.
-a rectangular gold "tag" that I wore on a cord around my neck through my pregnancies as a talisman.
I strung one of these charms on each gold chain, then fastened them all together on a clasp. Once I put the necklace on, the chains tangled and twisted up perfectly together on their own.

Now I've got my own chain and charm necklace. Playground here I come!

Brooklyn streets...

I spend a big part of each day walking around our area of Brooklyn. We do have a car, but New York is really just not a driving culture, and a big part of what we love about our life here is the "pedestrian lifestyle" of being able to walk everywhere.
As I walk around I am usually pushing a stroller and walking slowly with my other little one, so I've got the time to enjoy the view. There is so much to take in visually on Brooklyn's streets it can be overwhelming at times, but there are gems. Like the wall mural above! This is in the neighborhood of Fort Greene and I think that it is about immigration...but is obviously open to interpretation. I love the rainbows and elephants.


This wonderful "secret garden" gate was recently put up on a block near our's. I enjoy walking by this house because it is owned by a landscape designer who is always doing something exciting and creative with the small space at the front of the house. Doesn't this gate just beg to be opened? There is an element of mystery and magic to it...I love how they have created a small private space for themselves in the midst of the city! That's what we are all trying to do here, carving out our small space amongst it all.

Lotus Blooming

We have come to one of my favorite blooming seasons of the year...lotus flower blooming! We are fortunate to live close to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden and have been taking advantage of this urban oasis for years. All summer long the garden stays open late on Wednesday evenings for members only, so we take the kids, eat dinner and let them run around at dusk. Usually there are only a handful of other people there and it feels like our own HUGE private garden (with lots of rabbits running around). As you can see I took a ton of pictures of the lotuses, they were breathtaking. These are images that I will mine all year in my paintings, especially in the long winter months when my eyes are starved for natural beauty and detail. I'm storing it up for the winter already!





Another thing that makes the Brooklyn Botanic Garden our special place is that we got married there! Seven whole years ago. In that beautiful glass conservatory just behind Frank, which also happens to be just next to...the lotus and waterlily ponds!

Drum roll please...

I am bursting with excitement to share the news that my website update is finally up! This is a project that I have been working on with my tech savvy friend Jenn since March, and since we live on opposite coasts and are both so busy, the updating that I thought would take two months really took 5. But, I am thrilled with the result! The biggest excitement for me comes with the fact that I can now update my own website by myself whenever I want to. Jenn transferred my site to a new host at Bludomain, and they have website templates that almost anyone can update. Really, it is not much harder to update than updating my Blog.
I am still working on getting titles and some new work up. If you get a chance to pop on over and check it out I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Block Party

One Saturday a year, our block here in brownstone Brooklyn closes to car traffic, turns on the hydrants, and opens up wide for all kinds of old fashioned fun. Every block in NYC is allowed to do this as long as they apply for a permit in advance, and we are lucky to have a woman on our block who has lived here her whole life and organizes the permit every single year! She is a real die hard. This was the 5th year that we have been living on this block, and it was the most fun block party for us so far since the kids are old enough to absolutely embrace the idea. They LOVED the no rules feeling of running and playing in the street with their friends until the sun started to set and they all went inside and crashed hard in bed!


This was just what we all needed, a lazy day without rules at the height of summer in the City.
Even though this has definitely been the coolest summer that I remember in 12 years of living here in NYC we have just started now to feel the usual summer humidity, even finally giving in to sleeping with the air conditioner on in our bedroom.
I am also just starting to get the sense that we are on the "down slope" side of summer. Do you know what I mean? People are starting to talk about taking their last trips of the summer, and making Labor Day Weekend plans.
Since I always have ideas for paintings swimming around in my head, I am looking forward to having more structured time in the fall, which means more studio time for me. Autumn is also always my favorite time in New York. But, for now, since I have both of my babes with me full time, these ideas will have to wait. We are doing lots of exploring instead....The New York Aquarium, Coney Island, still doing our once a week beach adventure, The Natural History Museum, the new Highline park in Manhattan (this was very cool and pictures are coming soon!).

Although maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll be able to grab a little studio time this week!

So Summer

b..b..b.., originally uploaded by mrs. french.
In the right light at the right time, everything is extraordinary.

I've been away

I am still caught up in the sort of floaty, summer time dream state that I had after our week at the beach. I'm not getting much painting done, but that doesn't mean we aren't being creative. It's just that we are all full into summer mode here, the days are long and full of constant kid attention of the best and most exhausting kind...making things and eating things and running all over the place, doing rocket balloons in the park and learning the monkey bars, meeting friends for play dates at the dirt pile near the baseball fields and coming home so dirty that every night is "backwards" night with a bath before dinner instead of after. Those are the kinds of days that we are having now. How are you celebrating summer?

On Fire

I've missed you all! Here I am finally resurfacing after taking a break for a few travels and adventures...and some much needed "unplugged" time. Just today I watched this video talk by Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love) and I am on fire with the insights that she presents.
I immediately had to share it with you. There is some great inspiring stuff here, and I know I will be giving it another listen!